One Foot in Front of the Other: Ceiba Soul’s 3rd Gotcha Day

Ceiba SkypeA photo from our [first ever!] Skype session earlier this morning.

Bita Boy,

Happy Gotcha Day, my love.

You don’t know how much I miss you. I get envious of other people bathing their dogs. I love how you turn into a wild scrap of joy after your baths and then you gallop and run like the wind everywhere. It’s one of the funniest things that I’ve ever seen. I love seeing you that happy. One time your Uncle Mau told me something like, “He’s such a happy dog, and that’s thanks to you.” That’s one of the best compliments that I’ve ever received. Also, your Uncle Mau takes good care of you — he recently wrote me just to recommend some probiotics for you, because he thinks that they might really help you. (And I’m going to look into it!) You are loved, Ceiba Soul.

Lately I’ve been listening to a song called “One Foot” by a band called Walk The Moon. They have that song called “Shut Up and Dance.” You’ve probably heard me play it and then seen me twirl, jump around, and fall all over the room. You know me, bun. Anyway, this song, it makes me think of you and me, the distance that we have to deal with, how we’re doing life right now, and how we’re going to be okay and we’re going to be together again… even if it’s not happening as soon as I had hoped.

The lyrics say:

Cross my heart, hope to die
Taking this one step at a time
I got your back if you got mine
One foot in front of the other
All that we have is each other
One foot in front of the other

When I first heard it, I thought that it said, “I got your back and you’ve got mine.” Because there’s no “if” with us. You’ve always been my for sure true blue. When I knew that I had to bring you home, I knew. It wasn’t so much a decision as my heart informing me. Hey, Gia, this dog? He’s yours. And by the same token, you’re his. Take him now or regret it forever. He’s one in a million, I promise. And oh yes you are.

I also like how there’s a part in the song that says:

Oh, our heart’s a mess
But it’s our only defense
To brave the wilderness

I like the idea of you having your heart and me having mine and us growing a new shared heart that is its own little entity. But that’s also what I worry about with us being so far away from each other, you know. How to take care of that heart when I’m sitting behind a computer screen or just using a cellphone. It’s really tough.

Not a soul in the road
Not a star in the sky
It’s a desert in my heart
And I know where to hide

Sometimes it is lonely inside of me, Bita Boy. And that loneliness always has a welcome mat ready for you, and you always know how to curl up just right and light me up. You’re the fire glowing&growing right under my heart, keeping it nice and warm. I just need to figure out how to take better care of you and your heart and the heart that we share.

Last time when I was in Costa Rica with you, I wrote this-stream-of-thought poemthing:

Ceiba: extra lung, chunk of heart, seems dangerous you can run around on legs letting my love wild, I want you to be free but am always scared to lose a part of me — you.

It’s true, baby.  I’d be lying if I said that I’m not a little scared about everything that is ahead of us. But we’ll be okay. One foot (and paw) in front of the other.

Te amo, bebito. 

All my love, forever & always,
Your Gia

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